Look for the Helpers
As if the pandemic had not been challenging enough for parents, they are now faced with the task of explaining the concept of war to their children.
Let’s be honest, it’s difficult for adults to wrap our heads around the state of the world. It’s daunting, trying to figure out the balance of being informed without feeling overwhelmed. (It’s ok to limit your news exposure, and it’s critical to limit your kiddo’s exposure!)
When it comes to explaining complex world events to children, it can be difficult to know how much information to share. One of the biggest challenges is related to the uncertainty of what OTHER parents are telling THEIR children. (Alas, there is real risk in NOT addressing topics directly!)
In general, “less is more” applies to most explanations for kiddos. I often reference explaining the concept of “how babies are born.” In essence, the explanation offered to a 5 year old will vary from what information is disclosed to a 15 year old. (By the time someone is 25, we hope that they have the full story!!)
As we are trying to process the devastation that is happening, it can be helpful to shift our focus to include stories of where people are supporting others. (Here comes the big generational reveal, but I grew up with Mr. Rogers- lol!) I have often referred to this quote when explaining tragic events to my own daughters.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” ― Fred Rogers
In addressing something as specific as war, the explanation certainly becomes more complex. However, the message can remain constant. During times of conflict, it’s important to have the support of others. For many of us, the horrors of war are amplified by the humanitarian crisis that evolves. (I don’t know about you, but I have found myself in tears in response to the images reflecting support for mothers and children.)
It can be helpful to highlight and reinforce your family values as part of your narrative. Think about different scenarios where your family has served to help others. Think about situations where you have been on the receiving end of someone else’s kindness and support.
Here are some helpful tips for discussing world events with kids of all ages.
https://www.today.com/parents/how-talk-children-about-war-age-age-guide-t171381
Sending good vibes…