Deck the halls (not your family members!)
The holiday season is in full swing, and the weight of the “magic” for this time of year typically falls on the shoulders of women.
In general, women (and especially moms), feel like they are struggling to keep up with the demands of daily life. Then the additional “tasks” of the holiday season are added, complete with the pressure to plaster on a smile because it’s the “most wonderful time of the year!”
It makes sense that our inner “Grinches” are going to grumble a bit!
There are a lot of expectations, spoken and unspoken, at this time of year. Women are more conditioned to anticipate the needs of others, and then meet or exceed them, in an effort to make others happy.
TBH- It’s f*cking exhausting. It is also a losing proposition. We need to wrap our heads around the fact that rarely are we able to please all of the people all of the time. (And, on the rare occasion when we do meet this goal, we are often the ones who are the most unhappy!)
So, this is your reminder that it is ok to do things a bit differently this year! (I promise that those pesky relatives will invite you back next year!)
Some tips to help you navigate this time of year:
Prioritize your well being in the midst of the chaos. Food, water, sunlight, and rest. Remember that you are basically a houseplant, but with complicated emotions!
Maximize time management. Take a realistic look at the time you have available for the holiday “hoopla,” and adjust accordingly. It’s not feasible to attend every party that you are invited to!
Do what you enjoy! If decorations are your thing, go for it. If they are not, dont! (I have embraced the “lights only” tree experience, and find the “un-decorating” to be much more manageable!)
Create a budget, and stick to it! This is not just a financial budget, but also an energy budget. Be intentional about how you distribute your energy. It’s ok to set limits for yourself, and for the people around you.
Give yourself a reality check, and adjust your expectations. Interactions with difficult family members are often triggering. Remember that sometimes, it is ok to choose not to engage in conversations that are controversial. Just as you cannot attend every party you are invited to, you are not under any obligation to attend every argument that comes your way!
Most of all, remember that your feelings are valid. The holiday season can bring up a range of emotions, and there is no need to “judge” yourself for how you may feel.